Focus on the Positive


So it’s the new year and things are changing.  I told a friend of mine that I needed space.  And I learned that saying I’m going to do something… even committing to it, before it happens, is MUCH easier than actually going.  I want that to change this year.  I want to pat myself on the back more.  I WANT to do things, and be around people, and I know that it’s because partly my genetics, partly disorder, that I have difficulty.

This band has been rocking my ipod speakers lately.

If you’re reading this, pat yourself on the back, give yourself some credit.  Also, just know, that it’s OK.  You’ll get there.


Looking back on 2012.

Looking back on 2012:

I wish.  that I could say.  that I had amazing experiences in 2012.  But instead I’m going to tell you the truth.  The messy beautiful truth of what my year was like in 2012.

1.  I read books.  For the first time in a few years, I actually read quite a few books.  All the way through.  And I’m really proud of this.  I read Dive from Clausen’s Pier, by Ann Packer, and it…in a way…really validated me and brought me joy.  I read The Curious Incident of the Dog In the Nighttime.  I read Page By Paige.  I read The Bedwetter by Sarah Silverman.  I read M is For Magic, by Neil Gaiman.  In 2013, I want to continue reading.  Not to sound like a dork or anything, but reading transports me to new places.  Places that I want to be.  I love to read.

2.  In early December, Late November, I purchased some supportive / therapy CDs on social anxiety.  I have to be honest: I have been slacking.  I don’t want to slack.  I want to listen to those CDs.  I think they are really good, so far.

3.  I stayed at my job.  I have now been there for a little over 2 years.   And I am ready to leave it, lol.  Maybe that will come in 2013,  I hope it does.  Because its gotten to the point where it’s soul sucking.

4.  In October, I got back onto facebook, after being off it for 10 months.  I guess it’s OK.  I just use it for what it is, to connect with old friends.  Lately I have been on it everyday, and it’s pretty fun actually, lol.  I just have to be careful.  I have to use it in moderation and not get too wrapped up.

5.  I became good friends with an ex.

6.  I discovered new music.  I danced.  I joined things (and quit things – I am working on that).  I drew  pictures, I think I found my medium.  I painted.  I took many road trips.  I did pen pal coaching.  I bonded with my family.  I came out of my shell.  I gained weight.


Here’s to 2013.  To not being hard on myself.  For acceptance, gratitude, and self care.  To more pen pal coaching.


Today I went to a meetup group for anxiety.  I think this group is a really good idea, and I’m glad it was created.  I feel like I’m finally going somewhere with all this.

Then I went to the Pepper Market downtown (craft show).  It was so cool.  I loved how it was decorated and I almost bought a refurbished book (turned into a notebook).  It had baba yaga the Russian witch on the front.  I would have bought it except it was 30 dollars.  Oh well, maybe someday when I am rich 😛



I am a firm believer in journaling for emotional health and wellness.  Especially while drinking a hot cup of peppermint tea.

In other news, Elf is on ABC Family, and I have been enjoying watching that, and some of the Christmas cartoons before that.

I am having my first art show in May.  And my friend, G, has asked me to make an illustration header for her blog.  It totally made my day when she asked me.  I love being flattered!  I am so grateful to and for her for so many reasons.



Piano lessons.  Music.  My first art show, next year.  My friend R.  My friends and family.  Css.  Journaling.  Driving.  Meetup dot com.

I’m selling my paintings! On etsy! < So, I am selling my paintings on etsy.  It’s basically an after effect of cleaning my room out.  I have no room for some things, and well, yeah I guess you could say that one lady’s junk is another lady’s treasure?  NOT that my paintings are junk.  I just don’t want them.  I see them everyday and think they might brighten the world and space of someone else for a change.  So check em out!!!

I just wanted to follow up to my post the other day, about feeling crappy and wanting a life: I feel better and a lot more centered today.  I went to therapy, signed up for a volunteer thing, and dreamed about school, and possibilities for myself.  I think time, and also people, are real healers in my life, not to mention journaling.

I really want to see the movie “The Perks of Being a Wallflower.”  I really liked the book and the trailer looks great.