Focus on the Positive

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So it’s the new year and things are changing.  I told a friend of mine that I needed space.  And I learned that saying I’m going to do something… even committing to it, before it happens, is MUCH easier than actually going.  I want that to change this year.  I want to pat myself on the back more.  I WANT to do things, and be around people, and I know that it’s because partly my genetics, partly disorder, that I have difficulty.

This band has been rocking my ipod speakers lately.

If you’re reading this, pat yourself on the back, give yourself some credit.  Also, just know, that it’s OK.  You’ll get there.

About Me

I never told you guys this, I don’t think.  I have a mental health diagnosis.  I don’t feel comfortable saying the whole thing, but I’ll tell you it is in the depressive disorder spectrum (not bipolar).  I also have social anxiety, which I am OK saying.  I had a REALLY hard time in college 10 years ago.  That’s when it all started.  I was always sensitive as a kid.  But believe it or not, while middle school sucked, I had a few good high school years.  And when I come to think about it now, middle school wasn’t so bad either.

I have been in treatment for…over 10 years.  This is the embarrassing part of the post where I tell you, yeah, I’ve been in treatment for over ten years and I still struggle with inner issues.  Treatment.  I’m not here to explain myself to anyone, I just want to tell you about myself.  So I guess that’s that.

It’s funny the things that really help keep me together.  I take my meds, I go to therapy, and I go to work.  Right now I am struggling in some areas of wellness.  Physical health, relationships, and living up to my full potential.  But I know I’ll get there, and right now I’m doing what I know how to do.

I am not my diagnosis.  My name is Amy, and my favorite color is green.  I am 29 years old and I still have it going on.  I plan to have it going on when I’m old too.  I am so enchanted by science and other languages.  I like to paint and draw, and listen to music all at the same time.  I have a comfy yellow chair that I read books in and watch Gilmore Girls on DVD in.  I journal like its no ones business, I love to take mini road trips in my car.

So that’s “About Me” today.  What about you?